The 80/20 Rule and How We Accidentally Talk Ourselves Into Mediocrity

The 80/20 Rule and How We Accidentally Talk Ourselves Into Mediocrity

My worst fear: Mediocrity. It’s such a evasive term – what it means to one person, doesn’t hold true for the next. Thus the complexity of it, but also the freedom. The current “lesson” that’s up for me right now is being overly accommodating – saying yes, when it’s really a no. And I’d say that I’m damn good at saying no. But it was that pesky little 20% that kept tripping me up, pissing me off, and overriding my intuition. It’s that 20% that leads to mediocrity.  What do you do when 80% of you says “yes,” but 20% of you says “no?” Or you can listen here: Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | RSS | More Most people say yes to be nice, to be liked, to be flexible, accommodating and responsible. Oh GAWD, the responsible word… What if you ONLY said yes to the things that really lit you up, like totally were a 100% YES? Several weeks ago, I was recovering from an intense ear infection. Many lessons evolved from that experience. One of them being the hard-cold truth of everywhere I was saying yes, when it was really a no. It wasn’t major stuff, but then again it was major. That’s when a good friend lovingly reminded me of this, “If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no.” My advice to her years back, right back at me – staring me down. What will I choose? Will I choose me? Or the “responsible” thing? Will I choose me, or the need to be perceived as flexible, not “too much,” or agreeable? Sigh. So I...
An open letter about 6-figure success

An open letter about 6-figure success

Every where we look, we are presented with the myth that the right answer will fix us. The right presidential candidate will fix the United States. The right marketing plan will fix your business. The right eating plan will fix your thighs. The right kind of man or woman will fix your love life. The right coach or strategy will fix your bank account. We’re trained to look for what’s wrong; it’s become a great pass time. It’s event become a great career for some folks. For those of us who have been on the path of personal and spiritual development, we have been trained to process why we have the problem in the first place. Because maybe, just maybe, if we process it just right, the problem will be “healed.” And for sometimes even years, we process the shit out of it. We enroll others to help us process it because we just can’t see what we can’t see. We even start clubs for people who have the same issues, because if we can’t fix ourselves, then perhaps we can fix someone else. Some of us have even led the bandwagon of the big 6-figure problems because we believed that with the right solutions, we could fix our broken businesses and bank accounts. We thought it would work. We hoped it would. I thought it would work. And the master trick is, it can work for a short time, but it’s not sustainable. So BAM, we have another problem to fix and the cycle continues. We search some more. Some of us find a path of trusting ourselves, after being told most...
Fear of missing out or trust? The choice is yours.

Fear of missing out or trust? The choice is yours.

Big promises make you feel like you may be missing out on something BIG… <Imagine the ringmaster of the circus bellowing this into the crowd of people> “Not making enough money in your business?  This system is what you NEED to solve the problem forever. If you don’t do it, you’ll never make it. You’ll be stuck forever. Here’s how it works…” “Not losing weight fast enough? Try out this magic potion to fix the problem…” The 30-day money-back guarantee means it’s totally legit right? Part of the problem that adds to this “Fear of Missing Out” or FOMO as Nancy Marmalejo calls it, is an epidemic of how advertising and marketing trainings have taught us to write copy. We’ve been trained that our posts, headlines, sales pages, and subject lines need to be flashy and captivating in order to be read. Forget about real and honest, it’s better to be larger-than-life so we cut above the white noise, especially online. We’ve got to talk about the three secrets to fame, so we can be, well famous of course! And here’s the thing. It works. Until it doesn’t. Until you realize that your motivation to buy is fear, and you’re done with fear running your life. Another fabulous person to follow in how to write your message so it’s real, is Stella Orange. I love a post she shared last week on Facebook: Speaking of Facebook, let’s take a look at this ad I just saw on FB… “The 4-Step Strategy That Helped Us Build a $200,000 Per Month Coaching Business. Watch how we attract an UNSTOPPABLE flow of the PERFECT clients...
Failure isn’t the thing that hurts

Failure isn’t the thing that hurts

What if failing can actually be the biggest clue to getting what you desire? My biggest failure in my business (thus far) was my very first large event I hosted. I had hosted many events leading up to this, but nothing like this. It was 2010 and my vision was to host a large women’s empowerment conference with hundreds of attendees. I had no email list. I had no business or profit model. I just had a vision and I was really good at enrolling others into the vision. The vision was this: change the world by empowering women in our own backyard first. The more women who are empowered here, where we have ample opportunity, the more change we can BE on the planet. When all was said and done, I lost $40,000 on that event. In the process I lost a couple of friendships, one in particular who loaned me $25,000 to hire the keynote speaker that we were sure would help the event make money. This still breaks my heart. I was heartbroken. But more than that, I was ashamed, embarrassed and full of self judgment. How could I have let this happen? How in the world did this happen? Why did this not work out, when I felt that I was led by divine inspiration? None of it made sense. And there were plenty of people who told me that events just weren’t my thing and I should do something else. And THAT was the defining moment. Do I listen to the experts and people who cared about me? Or do I risk appearing ignorant...
Social Media Tips that Work

Social Media Tips that Work

Unfortunately, a lot of social media strategies are popularity contests. While it can be fun for a second to feel popular, is that really why you want to do your business? I had a sales conversation with a Facebook strategist years ago who’s focus was to get you 5,000 fans on Facebook. When I asked him how that made me money in my business, or how that helped the 5,000 people who would be fans, his answer was “You need to look the part online so people trust you and know that you are the real deal.” He had no answer to how paying to get those fans actually helped me, my business or the people I want to serve. Pinterest. Twitter (I still don’t get it). Facebook. Instagram. Blogs. YouTube. And at least a hundred other platforms. How do you have time to make all of that work for your business? And how many of you are doing social media because you “should” or you don’t want want to miss your chance just in case it works? Social media can be overrated, and it can be a huge time suck. I’m including some tips below, several are from from Heidi Totten, Social Media Strategist who taught on my virtual work day for my clients last week. Pick two platforms and be consistent. Once you get those streamlined, then you can add another one IF you feel the strategy is there. Yes, videos are huge. And to get the most out of videos on YouTube, post the video directly onto YouTube. Think about it this way, YouTube and Facebook...
The cure for lack of confidence and owning your value

The cure for lack of confidence and owning your value

“If I was just more confident, I would…” … get out there more. …charge more. …raise my prices. …apply to speak more. …get my head shots updated. …have more effective sales conversations. Have you told yourself any of these things? What if confidence isn’t a result, but it’s actually a decision? So often, we think that after we accomplish something specific, then we’ll be more confident. But guess what? It doesn’t happen. So maybe the next thing will, or the next. Then eventually we chase the confidence and continue to use it as an excuse of why we aren’t more successful. The inner critic starts: “I don’t know what I’m doing, I suck, I’m behind.” So we chase more certifications or push ourselves so far outside of our zone of genius that we find ourselves doing things in our business that we don’t truly love (and we’re not amazing at). Then we use that as proof that we suck. Sigh. Are you tired of the game? Maybe you are out of it and you don’t struggle with it.Woohoo! Or maybe you are smack in the middle of it, wondering if you can REALLY have the business you love that also pays you really well. Woohoo! Either way, you have the ability to change it and that’s great news. As I’ve experienced the highs and lows of the confidence roller coaster, I notice it comes down to these four things: Confidence is a choice. Are you willing to choose it? Could it be that simple? Have someone you trust who mirrors the truth and calls you on the lies you...

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