I bought into this illusion. I'm over it.

In 2009 I was really tired of being broke. Done. Finished. OVER IT.

I hired a mentor and it was exactly what I needed. It got me into action and I went from zero and built a 6-figure business in less than a year.

But I struggled for two years before that – most months not even making ends meet. So can I really say I built a 6-figure business in a year?

Truthfully, every life experience prepared me for my drastic income growth in 2011 – it was a lifetime of experience to get there….the six years to get a Bachelors. Going to high school and being the art nerd and cutting a LOT of classes…

Yet here I am creating and living a life that some days feels like a dream better than I ever imagined was possible.

Before this bliss that I live now, I bought into the illusion.

I bought into the illusion that having 200 people at my live events meant something about my value.

I bought into the hype that having “big names” in my telesummits meant something.

It was cool. It was fun. I learned a lot. And I wouldn’t trade any of it or redo it another way.

But guess what?

It’s all bullshit. Seriously. I’m calling it.

Here is what I’ve learned over the years:

Some people are who they are on and off stage. But not everyone.

Some people are more comfortable regurgitating other people’s content because they don’t have their own voice.

Some people even do some pretty dodgy things in business.

And if that is what you focus on, then that is what you get.

I choose to focus on the truth.

Here is the truth:

Everyone has crap. Behind beautifully branded websites and Photoshopped head shots, people’s hearts still hurt from time to time.

Marriages fall apart. Our hearts grieve over loved ones whose lives get sucked up by addiction. (That one has been a big one for me.)

People have friends and family die and the grief damn near kills them.

People experience depression (also another personal one of mine.)

Life happens. People are more fragile than they let on and WAY more powerful than they give themselves credit for.

People are real. Some are afraid of being vulnerable – and they are beautiful teachers for me every single time.

Everyone has cellulite (I’m at least telling myself that to make myself feel better.)

We question our brilliance. We question other people’s intentions.

And even with all of that, HERE WE ARE BUILDING BUSINESSES, CHANGING LIVES AND MAKIN’ STUFF HAPPEN!

The only thing that matters is this:

Be you. Know what you want. Speak up. Stop doing shit you don’t want to do – the stuff that you think will get someone else’s approval.

Are you quiet enough to even listen to your heart? Or is your time and attention so convoluted with emails and free trainings and self-study courses and your list of things you SHOULD do, that you haven’t actually LISTENED to your own intuition?

Do you meditate? Or pray? Or connect with someone in such a vulnerable way that it scares the shit out of you?

Last week I was talking to one of my best friends and I was having an OFF day. I didn’t know what my deal was, I just couldn’t get FOCUSED on what I needed to do.

So my friend listened to me cry on my couch. About how much I miss my friend Alison who died in 2009. And my friend/father-figure who died last November. I cried.

It wasn’t pretty – but I allowed it to be beautiful. Me being so open and honest it scared me. And her – listening. Holding the space. SEEING the real me through the ugly.

I processed that stuff and the next day got the final pieces to my program I’ve wanted to launch all month. I’ve had this program ALMOST ready but something wasn’t quite right and I know by now that I don’t produce anything unless it’s totally authentic and in alignment with what I want to put out into the world.

That is hard sometimes in an industry where we are told “it’s the first person to market who will make the biggest impact and make the most money.” (That is more of the illusion by the way.)

Do you have to have a breakdown every time to get the next step in your business? No.

A client asked me once how Donald Trump builds the vast wealth he does. She said “I bet he doesn’t deal with this stuff so why is mindset so important to building a business?”

I can’t answer that for Donald Trump. Or Oprah. Or anyone else.

What I know is this:

When you answer your soul’s calling to do transformational work in the world, your shit will come up. You will cry. You will laugh. You will experience more joy than any j-o-b could ever give you. And there will be days that you don’t want to do it.

There will be moments that you think “Seriously! I just want to make money and help people, can I PLEASE stop feeling so much and thinking about my purpose?”