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After taking four pages of notes from this interview with Coach Stevo, officially known as Steven Ledbetter, the glaring truth of why people don’t do what they say they want to do is not because they didn’t follow the formula of “how to change a habit in 21 days.”

After a tattoo waiver from the Marines altered his career path to becoming a health coach, to then creating an entire system around what it really takes for people to change, Stevo has identified several key elements to how “coaching” is not about prescribing anything, but it’s deep listening and inquiry.

My biggest takeaway from this interview is how human beings are naturally inclined to grow when they have three needs that are taken care of, which go far beyond Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs:

1. Autonomy (you are internally motivated vs externally motivated. Stevo used the example of this in teaching as someone is interested in what you are doing, which is not the definition I think of when I hear autonomy so listen to the interview to get this piece)
2. Competence (someone believes that you can do it)
3. Belonging (you are a part of something)Stevo said that in order for something to become a habit it has to be doable, sustainable, and a priority.

Stevo said that in order for something to become a habit it has to be doable, sustainable, and a priority.

When someone (myself included) say that they desire something, yet it’s not a priority, there is a gap and the person won’t create the desired change. How do we change that? Stevo recommends asking two questions:
Why isn’t it a priority? What else is a priority? Those simple questions can create the clarity to understand what’s really going on.
And lastly, if the system isn’t working for you, there is nothing wrong with you.

Listen here:

About Steven:

Steven M. Ledbetter, aka “Stevo” or “Coach Stevo” is an expert in the science of human behavior change. He has built successful companies, products, and services that have helped thousands of people change their lives. Betterish is a consumer company helping busy people be better friends, bosses, and citizens by learning new skills and habits, the Bettercast, which is a weekly podcast featuring real stories about people getting better at things and the unexpected impact these adventures had on their lives.

Habitry is another company of Steven’s that helps coaches learn how to improve retention and client success with Motivation Science, Habitry iOS, which is an iOS app to help coaches keep groups of clients feeling motivated and on track to their goals and The Motivate Summits, the only open Unconferences in health and fitness and the only summits designed to bring health coaches together to collaborate on what works.