So there I was guiding my Inner Circle clients to get breakthroughs on their own willingness to show up and play a bigger game.
…to be fierce about claiming their spotlight and not settling into the comfort of mediocrity…and it hit me.
I was hiding behind my hair. Again.
I have great hair. I love it. And energetically it was stifling my expression of who I was. I was too comfortable.
Somehow I thought if I had long fabulous hair, it would cover up my discomfort about other parts of my body (mainly my @$$ and thighs, which have always been my greatest teacher of unconditionally loving my body.)
So I set up the appointment to chop off my hair. And then I showed up and followed through. (Kind of interesting how that works: make the decision and SHOW UP.)
When I was looking at the back of my new hair in the full length mirror at the salon, this was the first thought in my head…
“Does this haircut make my butt look big?”
Seriously, that was it. After all of the self love and self work, and THAT was the enlightened thought after chopping my hair off.
Well crap. Am I BACK in that conversation again? And what the hell does that have to do with my business?
Have you noticed you have these conversations that are your safe default conversations you go to when you are uncomfortable?
This can show up when things are going great and then WHAM, you pick an argument with your spouse? Or you get overly sensitive because someone did something “TO” you…
Gay Hendricks calls these saboteurs Upper Limits – read The Big Leap if you haven’t already.
So there I was…looking at my @$$.
I had grown my hair to balance my body out. Now being totally SEEN and not hiding is making me SEE the other parts of my body, life, home and business that I’m hiding behind.
Visibility is contagious. You change up one thing, and it affects the greater whole of your life.
Ever notice that after you have a big breakthrough somewhere in your life, you can’t go back to the same ol’ conversations with friends that are affirming the crap you just let go of? Or maybe family members and their complaining really gets under your skin because on one level you have let go of that old life, but you are still in an environment that is reflecting the OLD YOU.
It was a couple of months ago that I realized I had gotten overly comfortable and it was time to do things that scared me.
You can only take people to the edge of where you have gone yourself. In order to DO it, you’ve got to EMBODY it so it really lasts. Otherwise, you get the one-hit wonder results…the results that don’t stick.
How do you embody it? You’ve got to do it from the inside, out AND the outside, in.
- Is it time for a makeup makeover? A lot of women are invisible because they are afraid to darken their eyebrows and use lip color. Your eyebrows are the frame to your eyes, which is the gateway of how two souls connect. Your message comes out of your voice box (mouth) but if no one can see your lips, then you are hiding. Consider hiring a makeup artist or going to Sephora and get someone to do your makeup.
- Are you wearing clothes that actually FIT? Most women wear clothes that are too big for them because they see themselves bigger than they actually are. Do you wear clothes you really LOVE or clothes that are just affordable?
- Does your personal brand (image) match the message you want to share with the world? If not, work with Nicole Lundy. If your goal is to make $500,000 in a year, do you look like the person who makes $500,000? You don’t need to spend a fortune on clothing! Often times, just tailoring your clothing and having a few high quality pieces will change your energy to start attracting the premium clients you want to work with.
- Your physical environment: You gotta do something about that clutter my friends! Is it time for a new comforter on your bed, a new coat of paint in your office, or a new desk. This doesn’t have to cost a lot, just get creative!
- Get professional head shots with a great photographer. Carla Boecklin is amazing! Don’t wait until you lose the weight or until you have _____. Just do it.
- Are you holding back your message you really want to share because you are afraid of leaving people out? If you are making your message generic to not rock the boat, then you are boring your premium audience because they want something fresh and bold. Being boring will not make you money and you will not help people at the level you want to.
- Are you more comfortable with the same ol’ conversations (and drama) than you are to just be silent until you have something more enlightened to share? My favorite quote from Bambi applies true here too: “If you have nothing nice to say (about yourself), then don’t say anything at all.”
- What is the default conversation you go to when you are uncomfortable? Is it your @$$ too? Or you “can’t afford it,” or “My husband will be mad,” or “I’ll outshine someone.” Figure out that default and make the decision that you won’t go back there. Ever.
- Are you more willing to stay the same than to get uncomfortable? Do something that scares you today. Get the fingernail polish that is out of character for you. Part you hair on the opposite site. Order something new at the restaurant. Go to Cross Fit. (Ah, that one scares me so it’s something I’m sure I gotta do.)
If you start doing these things on a daily basis, you’ll notice three BIG things:
- Magnetism – people just contact you to work with them. They see that you are LIVING the life you teach and they want that.
- Money – You will own your value, therefor people will gladly pay you that value.
- Transformation – You will truly transform people’s lives at a profound level…the kind of change that impacts generations. This is the kind of change that is necessary to change the world.
What are some of the things you do to stand out and play on the edge of your comfort zone? Leave a comment below and share it with me – I’d love to know!