My language has lost profits & trust in my biz. And it’s likely that is has in yours too.
If you have attended one of my life events or a virtual training, you know that while I’m soulful and spiritual, I swear. Not a ton. But I express myself with my words.
BUT cussing is not what this week’s article is about.
It’s about the other language that folks use, including myself, that is much worse that cussing.
It’s causing your prospects to lose trust in you. And the leads to lost profits and lack of referrals.
It’s leading people to accept mediocrity.
It’s keeping a lot of women from shining in their brilliance.
It’s the equivalent of shrinking in your physical posture so you don’t stand out as much.
Here it is:
It’s using words like sort of, kind of, sometimes, etc. when describing what you do.
Several weeks ago I was talking with someone about what they do for busy women entrepreneurs. I was intrigued and so excited to talk with her. Until she said something like this
“Well, um, I kind of help women in their business by…..”
Either you do it or you don’t. There is no kind of, sort of, or sometimes. Do you help people lose weight or do you “kind of help people with their eating plan?”
Do you help people make money in their biz? Or do you “well, ya…I kind of rock people’s worlds by making them a rock star in their industry with a stellar brand?”
Watch out for this DIRTY language! It totally devalues you and your freakin’ genius qualities.
It robs your prospects of the opportunity to trust you from the get-go. And you have to work really hard to erase that level of “blah” so you actually stand out in the sea of people that your prospects have available to them.
And another thing, ladies, we have got to stop saying “I’m sorry” to everything.
Earlier this year I talked about a conversation I overheard at a restaurant while I was enjoying dinner with my hubby.
There were three young women probably in their early 20s sitting near us. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop because one woman in particular started almost every sentence out with “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, but I have a question on the menu.”
“I’m sorry, but can you tell me where your restroom is?”
“I’m sorry, but can I get lemon with my water also?”
I was bugged. And you and I both know when we get bugged about something it has NOTHING to do with the person we are judging, but everything to do with something inside. The reason it bugged me so much is because I saw that I was apologizing wayyyy too much in my conversations.
Are you apologizing simply for existing? For breathing air? For taking up space in the world?
I love this quote:
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Words have power. Treat every conversation as the precious time that it is and be conscious of using the “filler” words that don’t reflect your brilliance.
Here is a list that I see and hear most common and how you can change it in your conversations:
- I’m sorry – Only use this when you have really done something out of integrity AND you are going to do something about it. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. And please don’t say it for doing things like asking simple questions or simply taking up space in the world
- Um, Well, hmmm – Translation: “I’m uncomfortable with being the center of attention or I’m not sure what to say.” If you have a tendency to do this, just take a breath. If you are leading a teleconference call or something similar, breath and get a drink of water. You need to give your body a way to catch up to your brain.
- Kinda / Kind of – Translation: I really am a rock star, but I don’t know if you’ll accept that or if I’ll intimidate you so I’m choosing to lower my energy to feel more comfortable with playing small. Or, I’m doubting myself because I’m intimidated and what if I don’t really get this result with you?
- I can’t – 99% of the time what you really mean is “I won’t.”
“I can’t charge that much right now.” Translation: I won’t charge that much right now because I don’t value myself that much.”
- I don’t know – Instead say the truth “That isn’t my area of expertise, but I’d love to refer you to someone who can do that for you.” Or, “That is a great question, I’d love to contact you with that answer. When is a good time to follow up with you? (make it within 24 hours)
- Probably, as in I can probably do that. Either you can or can’t. You don’t have to answer someone immediately. Be realistic about what you can or can’t do.
You are powerful. You are a genius at what you do.
Align your words with this truth and you will start to see shifts in your sales conversations, conversations with clients and this brings about more referrals, higher paying clients, increased confidence in yourself and much more.
Speak your truth with power. You deserve to be heard and seen for your greatness. Own it.
To Your Success,