Ten years ago this month, I got fired. My employer said “laid off” as I’m pretty sure that’s the only way they could legally let me go.

There were plenty of days I wondered if I was going to make it. There were days I couldn’t believe how amazing it was. And plenty of things in-between.

A shoutout to a special person before I get into this:

To Richard, my husband. Thank you for looking at me on that winter day in 2012 when I wasn’t sure I could do it anymore. That day changed everything. Thank you for always supporting me and believing in me. I love you. I love us.

Here’s the Cliff Notes version:

  1. Your lows will suck. Your highs will elate you. You will have both.
  2. When things suck, you can make up a story about how much you suck. OR you can observe what’s happening and change it. I recommend the latter.
  3. People change. You will change. Business relationships change. Friendships change. You’ll have to let people go in order to keep growing. For ultimate peace, stop trying to analyze it and just realize this is evolution.
  4. Trends will come and go. The most effective marketing strategy you have is to know who you are and keep sharing that with the world consistently.
  5. If all of the formulas worked, we’d all be making loads of money while vacationing half the year. Cramming your brilliance into someone else’s formula or business model is as effective of driving 1,000 miles driving backward. Technically is it possible? Yeah… sort of. Is it effective and will you enjoy the journey? Not so much.
  6. Sometimes people are just crazy, unaccountable, ridiculous and even mean. You’ll have clients who blame you. You’ll hire people who don’t work out. You’ll meet people who preach integrity, yet have none. Just move on and keep creating your life. Don’t let the crazies distract you.
  7. You’ll question if your intuition is on crack. Seriously. You’ll follow your gut on something and it doesn’t work out. Stop looking for the quick fix to get results and keep trusting yourself.
  8. When you think you’re hot shit, you’ll find out one day that you’re not. It’s okay. You needed to come off the pedestal so you can see that it wasn’t built on solid foundation.
  9. You’ll think that other people are hot shit. And one day, you’ll find out that they’re not. Be kind. Allow people to change and trust when people SHOW you who they are vs who they SAY who they are.
  10. Refuse to participate in gossip or drama. Don’t hang around who are committed to gossip and drama even if they are clients who want to pay you lots of money. It’s not worth it.
  11. Be kind. Have clear boundaries. Say no more than you say yes. 
  12. People will judge you anyway so keep being true to you.
  13. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Don’t take unsolicited advice.
  14. Struggle is always optional. Ease is always available if you’re willing to choose it.
  15. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed.
  16. Give yourself way more credit. You’re way too hard on yourself.
  17. Don’t try to be everything to everyone. 
  18. The thing that comes easiest to you is usually the thing you’ll underestimate and undercharge for. When you stop assuming that people know how to do what you know, you’ll find your sweet spot. Pay attention to that.
  19. Being vulnerable is crucial to receiving support, money, and love. It’s okay to let people in. It’s also okay to let go of relationships that don’t honor your vulnerability.
  20. And lastly, please don’t give up on your dream. Your brilliance changes the world. Trust that.