You know that moment when you realize that you need to take your own coaching?

That moment when you say YES to you, your life, your dream, your upleveled reality, and everything that is not in alignment with that shows up ready to ask you if you are really ready to move forward.

Yeah, that moment. The “oh $hit moment.”

Something crazy cool happens when you say YES to YOU. Big awareness shows up. Excitement. Woohoo.

And other stuff shows up too.

Resistance. Fear. Sometimes things even blow up.

Is change ever really super comfortable?

Why does this happen? It’s energy – the law of vibration.


You say yes to a $100,000 business. Everything that doesn’t align with that will show up almost as if to tap you on the shoulder and say “do you really think you can have that?” The dog throws up, the car breaks down, you get in a stupid fight with your partner…

You say yes to hosting your first event after taking a year sabbatical and some fears come up that feel real and feel heavy and this is AFTER hosting over 100 live events. Wth? (this is me by the way)

Crap starts happening. You look under the rug because you are finally brave enough to SEE and you don’t always like what’s underneath there. It doesn’t align with what you are moving INTO.

It’s a reminder of choices you made in the past and THAT is where the good news is.


The past is just that – it’s not the present. It’s usually never actually REAL.

The ONLY place to change things is right now, in this moment. Right now. And now. And now.

I recently attended a 5-day Access Consciousness training and it blew my mind.

I was looking for something to be easy, magical and fun to release old beliefs and create amazing stuff. If I hear one more person praise glory to statements like “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” or “my struggles mean I am strong,” I’m going to scream.

Sacrifice does not beget points in heaven – it begets suffering. I for one am here on the planet to have more JOY and MAGIC. <end rant>

So I was pleasantly surprised when this training blew my socks off. I could feel my whole life rearranging itself to what I said YES to – the magic, the joy, and it was showing up in bigger and bigger ways.

Access Consciousness is a way of looking at, playing with and being an alchemist of energy. As in the actual molecules of our thoughts, beliefs and desires! Everything is energy, energy is everything.

While the bliss was showing up, other stuff was too. There isn’t a place for stories, excuses or judgment and when most of your reality is steeped in those traditions, it can get a little uncomfortable.

The theme for this year is Magic, trust and receiving support. So I got to experience that in addition to the opposite of that.

I realized that even though I had transformed a lot of my “work-a-holic” ways, I still had a hard time trusting people to really show up and to receive support.

So I created a nightmare situation with an OBM, who I chose to fire and then spend over $1,200 fixing their mistakes and being delayed weeks on projects. I learned the phrase “Hire slowly. Fire fast.”

My shaman healer pointed out that while I have the gift of keen intuition, to not confuse that with seeing the potential in people for what “is.” Maya Angelou said it best: “When people show you who they are the first time, believe them.”

I started seeing where I saw the potential in people, instead of “what is.” And it resulted in some difficult conversations of letting someone go, letting a business partner go and also releasing other relationships that weren’t willing to let go of their stories. I chose to love people where they were, instead of trying to change them in the name of being “enlightened or nice.”

So big stuff has been happening and blowing up. On top of filling an event. On top of being sick since Christmas and it was finally “diagnosed” as bronchitis ++ what ever else is going on in cough that could only be justified if I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day and was a lounge singer in Vegas (that’s the image that shows up every time my wheezy cough happens).

If you follow Louise Hay at all, the lungs are associated with grief and sadness. And ya know what? Is it okay if we just get sick? Do we have to make everything mean something so profound with the question of “how did I create this,” which is usually followed by making ourselves wrong about something we believe, chose or thought.

And I’ve definitely been grieving – grieving the dreams I had that weren’t realized. Grieving that people I care about will only be who they are, never who I would like them to be and in that acceptance is the only place I can love them and receive love that they have to give.

I’ve been grieving how addicted I became to hard work, the hustle and the belief that the only way for something to be done right is if I did it. <“What if this ease and magic stuff is just bullshit?,” says my ego mind.>

Grief, emotion, energy has to MOVE in order for it to change.

What if nothing, and I mean nothing, is wrong?

nothing is wrong

Nothing is wrong with the family member who is “addicted.” The client who is struggling. The bank account that doesn’t match your desires.  The thighs that are the size the are. The friend who is grieving the loss of her husband.

What’s on the other side of all of this? What’s INSIDE of this?

I’m in my process of grieving, hiring a new team member, and creating amazing things. With all of this stuff blowing up, I’m preparing for an amazing event Event Revolution teaching soulpreneurs how to create their own platform to create massive transformation and massive profits.

I created an opportunity to go to Kenya and have a trip of a lifetime with some of my dearest BFFs. I am preparing to have a family vacation with my nieces and nephews who fill my heart with so much light and joy. And I have a freaking amazing husband (he’s really spectacular).

I was super tempted to just skip a newsletter and blog post this week. But there was that darn voice within me that said “Someone will need this reminder so write. YOU need this reminder Angella, so write.”

So I write. For me. For you. For other soulpreneurs who are willing to be real and be courageous enough to love themselves where they are because it’s the ONLY place that leads to the next step.

My advice when you aren’t just feelin’ it, and you’ve still got a biz to run?

  1. Feel your feelings. What if you stopped judging you for feeling crappy in some moments? What could be available to you then?
  2. Let the stories go that there is anything wrong with you.
  3. REACH OUT. I have a select group of soul sisters that I go to and they celebrate me, even when I’m in a funk.
  4. Honor where you are at. I have found that when I feel overwhelmed it’s because I’m trying to prove what a master manifestor I can be and I like creating BIG stuff. Just BE. Little steps are okay. Standing still as long as your eyes are wide open so you can SEE where you’d like to go next.
  5. BE gratitude.
  6. And there is always wine. Everything in moderation my friends. 🙂
  7. Cry and if you want to, swear A LOT. I did that this week and it felt awesome.

Believing in You,