There is a theme happening right now… it’s kinda like when you want to buy a red car and then you notice that EVERYONE has a red car…
The theme is people are stepping into the GAP. (Not the clothing store as my funny and smart @$$ friend Heidi says.)
The GAP is the place between letting go of what no longer works and stepping into what is coming – BUT what’s coming hasn’t shown up quite yet.
“The GAP (can be) the place where possibilities go to die from causes like, ‘being responsible,’ ‘being realistic,’ and ‘being practical.’”
The Gap is also the place where infinite possibilities come alive. My friend Lori reminded me of this recently.
If you truly desire change, there is no going back to the old life. You can SORT OF go back to the old life but it will likely be more painful. Why? Because you know what you desire and you consciously told yourself you couldn’t have it.
I’m seeing more and more people consciously enter into the GAP without having the universe smack them around before they’ll finally listen to their deepest desires.
(We don’t need to hit rock bottom or have a total breakdown to wake up to a new possibility.)
How we go into the GAP doesn’t necessarily matter (in my opinion). It’s what we do after we enter that matters.
The old me:
I would desire something to be different. I would let go of the job, the friendship, the weight, etc. and start to play in the new energy of what I desired. It got hard and I took that as a sign and then I’d revert back to the old way of life. Then a year later, I wondered why my life hadn’t changed.
That is how I lived most of my life. It’s what I knew.
It was better to be “safe” than to create something outrageously unpredictable.
The current me and who I desire to be:
I desire something to be different.
I ask lots of questions and follow my awareness. I choose it. I take action. I get super uncomfortable. Even irritable.
Sometimes I doubt myself and what I’ve chosen because it looks NOTHING the way I thought it would.
I keep choosing. I keep choosing. (Like Dory singing, “Just keep swimming.”)
(picture from: https://dcpi.disney.com/finding-dory-just-keep-swi…)
I let go of expectations. I commit. I take action that has no guarantee that it will work.
Magic happens. Things show up that blow my mind and I wonder why I ever doubted.
Going through the GAP can be painful and scary.
Can it be tough to lose relationships? Businesses? Clients who are no longer a fit? Predictable money from programs?
Sure. It can also be a fun adventure.
It’s usually always uncomfortable.
Here are some tips to navigate through the GAP so you create the infinite possibilities rather than revert to the past that you know:
1. Who you gonna call? (Apparently I have movie songs in my head today…)
I have a few friends who are my lifelines. These are true friends – people who give it to me straight. No stories. No drama. No excuses. Sometimes it’s tough love. Sometimes, it’s a listening ear. It’s ALWAYS honest. And sometimes that honesty stings. These are also people who don’t judge me and that’s something I’m so grateful for.
If you notice you have people you reach out to because you know they will support your drama, you gotta stop enrolling people to buy into your limitations.
If you have people who give you unsolicited advice that’s not helpful, it may be time to find some new friends.e (Have you noticed the folks with all of the unsolicited advice have a LOT of time on their hands? It’s easy to advise everyone else if you’re not creating your own life.)
2. You are only responsible for you.
You are not responsible for anyone else’s choices, happiness, or future. It’s not your job to make people comfortable. What would you choose for YOU?
3. Go for it!
The ONLY way to know what’s possible is to walk IN and THROUGH the gap.
You can’t think about it. Hypothesize about it. Wonder about it. Fear it. Or wonder. You act. You do.
The confidence and courage to say yes to the things you desire only comes when you choose IN – not when you think about it or hope for things to be different.
4. Limit exposure of everyone else’s opinions and how they do things.
I gave my power away a lot in my past – to religion… to spiritual teachers… to coaches I paid a lot of money to… etc.
If you are working with someone who isn’t asking you what YOU desire, it may be time for a change.
If you are married to someone who never asks you what YOU desire, is it time to change some dynamics in your relationship?
This also means stop signing up for every free webinar and newsletter in the name of “research.”
(This doesn’t mean doing it on your own. Trust your knowing AND receive support and guidance.)
5. Put your desire into motion.
Have you noticed that stifling self doubt has no room to show up if you are doing something?
What is ONE action you can do today to move closer to your desires? In other words, stop thinking so much and start doing something. You’ll surprise yourself.
Next up, I’ll be talking about commitment and accountability – two words that I’ve resisted like crazy since I was SO committed and accountable that I nearly suffocated myself from obligation to doing things perfectly.
Events, Resources, and Magic
June is my 10-year anniversary month of being in business! Watch for some super cool gifts I have to celebrate a decade of being a business owner!
June (date to be announced): Debut release of “Activate Your Alchemist” 30-day program. (My newest body of work!)
June 29-July 1 – Attending ConvertKit’s annual Craft & Commerce Conference
July 13-23 – GOONIES Family Vacation! (I have matching t-shirts y’all! And a treasure map!)
October 14-20: CREATE Retreat in Italy. *** A spot has opened up for this retreat.
See the details here and contact me to book a chat.